Why I wrote Instamom

Growing up, I never imagined myself becoming a mother. Like all my seven-year-old friends, I had a Cabbage Patch Doll, but I never changed her diaper or fed her bottles. She was more of a friend than a daughter to me. And babysitting? Forget it! I’d rather have a real job, with other people my own age.

Flash forward to my late twenties. Like most of my friends, I was married. But while they moved to another phase—motherhood—I only looked on in wonder as they juggled jobs and kids, and with relief that I didn’t have to focus on both. I wasn’t childless. I was childfree.

And yet, while I was 100% confident with my decision to be childfree at that very moment in my life, in the back of my mind, I’d sometimes get a nagging thought: What if, in ten years, I change my mind and decide I want to be a mother, and it’s too late?

For many reasons, my marriage dissolved, and in my mid-30s, I met a guy who I knew was—even before we went on that first date—the one. The problem: he had kids. I was just starting to come around to the idea that I might one day want children. How could I date someone who already had two kids, and who had told me that he wanted a dozen more?

The answer, I realized, as time passed, our relationship intensified, and his two children won me over, is that people grow. They have new experiences, which bring new perspectives. Basically, contrary to the old adage, people do change. Except, social media doesn’t really want us to. Google “How to be an Instagram influencer” and the #1 tip is to choose a niche. Also on the list: be consistent. Stray and you’ll lose likes, engagement, followers.

While I’m not a childfree champion on Instagram, I know all too well what it’s like to balance brand partnerships and authenticity. And it’s that act that sparked the idea for Instamom. I thought, What would happen if a woman who never wanted kids and has a strong social media presence supporting childfree women met the love of her life—and changed her mind? Would she follow her heart or stay on the path she’s worked so hard to create for herself out of fear of losing it all?

I wrote this book because it takes a lot of courage to stand up for your beliefs, but it also takes just as much courage to change your mind. That’s the heart of the message in Instamom. I hope you’ll come along with me and Kit Kidding, the heroine of this novel, to experience the challenges and victories of being a strong, fearless woman navigating life and love in the age of social media.